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Listen, it’s not like getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue that it has never been harder than it is right now. The most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars with lines of interested tenants out the door. (Meanwhile, the average price of a one-bedroom has shot up to $5,100.) Here, we’ll find the actually worth-looking-ats, actually worth-the-costs, and surprisingly affordable-for-those-parquet-floors from all around the internet.
The theme this week? “East”! Meaning East Harlem, Upper East Side, East Village, and Fidi. Craigslist was my friend this week, feeding me gems like this East Village co-op, for example. If you’re craving listings in the outer-boroughs, keep reading for a special edition of The Unicornian Freestanding Homes of New York.
East Village Apartment Listings
$7,590, three-bedroom: A crow’s nest on the top of an EV apartment building. Very strange and very intriguing despite the underwhelming reno on the apartment itself.
$1,650, one-bedroom: This place must be absolutely subterranean to be asking for such a low price. If not, this is a steal and a deal and you should run, not walk or jog, because this will be swooped up before you know it.
$1,750, one-bedroom: This is a roommate situation, however, it is still a STEAL. The ceilings are literally 20 feet high (I corroborated with the owner). Go check it out and tell me what these folks get up to.
Upper East Side Apartment Listings
$2,695, studio: Nothing gets me singing like a ziggurat fireplace. Otherwise, uninspiring.
$3,150, one-bedroom: The warmth of the natural light is so inviting, don’t you think? Very solid one-bedroom at a decent price.
$7,245, three-bedroom: Sometimes Craigslist just really does its job. This apartment is stunning and — while, yes, still expensive — way below market price.
$3,500, one-bedroom: There’s something a little different about this one — in a good way! Maybe it’s that the ’90s kitchen reno is not as bad as the Home Depot kitchen renos of today, the light is nice, and the floorboards are solid.
$3,950, one-bedroom: I’m a sucker for an arched passageway, a decorative fireplace, and a large-format tile.
$5,600, one-bedroom: Pretty stately situation: beautiful building, wood-burning fireplace, ten-foot-high ceilings. They cheaped out on the faux marble and the floorboards, though. And that chandelier … no.
$11,700, two-bedroom: So expansive! So many windows! A terrace! That’s it.
$3,300, studio: Two words: casement window.
$12,000 three-bedroom: A tasteful classic six, right on the park. Mostly here for ogling.
$6,500, two-bedroom: More windows.
Fidi Apartment Listings
$7,300, one-bedroom: I like the double-height ceilings here!
$3,683, studio: Things get interesting at photo ten — recessed, original windows looking out onto Trinity Church!
$15,000, three-bedroom: The arched windows are bronze-framed, and that’s pretty sexy.
East Harlem Apartment Listings
$4,995, one-bedroom: This garden-level apartment is giving rustic farmhouse. I can dig it.
$2,695, studio: Gorgeous studio apartment with 15-foot-high ceilings, a lofted area (making it basically a one-bedroom), and a fun and unusual face on the decorative fireplace!
$3,207, one-bedroom: It’ll do.
$750, studio: This is an office. Kinda nice, very cheap.
Some Special Freestanding Homes
This week, feeling tired by the lack of space in New York City apartment figurations and floor plans (how many Murphy beds can one person look at before they grow depressed?), I decided to narrow my search to one thing: freestanding houses. I’ve always found myself tickled by these urban sore thumbs. Right off the bat, I found this stunner: a Tudor-style three-bedroom home with a fireplace and a detached garage that is almost Brooklyn-qualifying (it’s in Baldwin, right off the Sunrise Highway). It’s also very affordable, which might have to do with its foreclosure notice … call Tony Mazzaro ASAP for the full scoop.
Next up: this Victorian-esque three-floor, three-bedroom house in the Bronx with four — I repeat: four — fireplaces. I’m not a big math guy, but I’m liking this bedroom-to-fireplace ratio a lot. Moving from the Bronx and over to Staten Island, we have this somewhat grim two-bedroom house that I would characterize as postmodern at best. Okay, this one needs a title — instead of “foreclosure, needs work,” perhaps they could call it a two-bedroom Greek Revival–Italianate-style wood frame? I do appreciate their straightforward honesty, though. Hurrying along, we have this five-bedroom (or so says the listing) Colonial-style house, and it’s one of my favorites, with a big front porch and a substantial backyard. Lastly, this fabulous brick-façade two-family stunner in Astoria and this newly, not horribly reno’d brick rowhouse right near St. Johns!
More real estate stories
- A Village Voice Founder’s Gramercy Park Apartment Is for Sale
- A West Village Two-Bedroom and a Sprawling Windsor Terrace Co-op for $599,000
- A Porch With a View in Kingston and a Twofer in Ulster County
